Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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