But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
