so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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