I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
