He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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