Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
