And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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