She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
