whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
