fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
