either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
