ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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