I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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