so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
