erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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