I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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