come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
