mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
