As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
