I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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