Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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