Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
