i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How does one acquire holy water?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dick very happy bro
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
