took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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