Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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