I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Mom said you looked used
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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