Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
