When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
