Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
