I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
