Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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