Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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