its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
