have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
