and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
