I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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