That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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