the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
