hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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