ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
