party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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