Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
