So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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