I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
