just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
