i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Randomize
