Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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