So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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