# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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