Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
